My memories of Cardinal George Pell

Thirty nine years ago, as a naive and passionate young student teacher, I attended Fr.George Pell's theology lectures at Aquinas Teacher's College Ballarat. I loved theology and ever the eager one my hand shot up at every question. Fr.Pell often responded with 'Not Lisa this time!', 'Have a rest Lisa.' or 'Someone other than Lisa!'

Fr.Pell was articulate, logical in a Thomas Aquinasy sort of way and extremely well versed. The other students, largely from farms in places I'd never heard of like Warracknabeal and Woomerlang, dozed off during his talks. Some thought I was nuts to be so interested in such a dry subject but I thought they were a bunch of hayseeds who couldn't appreciate quality when it was before them. I was a bit of a snob and looked down on the country students, assuming that when they left teachers college they'd go to little Catholic country schools, raise country kids and live the rest of their country lives in blissful ignorance and I was largely right. None of my cool, alternative peers were impressed with Pell nor indeed with anything Catholic; so that left me, listening attentively, with overused arm muscles.

                               'Manifold House' Aquinas College Ballarat, now the ACU Ballarat Campus

Fr.Pell was youngish, upwardly mobile and already principal of Aquinas Teachers College. We all agreed that he was really going places. My naive eighteen year old self found that very impressive. He was a kind man and helped me deal with a nasty old nun who would lock the door when she saw me coming down the hall. Good times! I exacted some revenge when each Friday I performed a soapie drama in the common room called 'Mary Manifold of Manifold House' in which I played the old nun as a gnarled, creaky voiced witch.

But never, in my most wild dreams could I have imagined that at that same time and for some years beforehand, the church had been infiltrated by monstrous priests who abused young children and that a number of those simple country kids who had studied with me at Aquinas had been brutally effected by those same priests.

Neither could I have imagined that thirty nine years later, Fr. Pell, the proud man with the grizzly bear posture who would become the leader of the Australian Catholic Church, would be called before the Australian Royal Commission Into Institutional Responses To Child Sexual Abuse, for days of interrogation. If you had told me any of this all those years ago, I would have thought you were barking mad. In those days, for me the worst thing about the church was that crabby old nun.

But when the awful tsunami of truth hit us, the laity, it rocked the Catholic Church to its core and created ongoing ripples of trauma which are still being felt. As a result faith communities diminished and many stopped attending Mass. Many faithful left the church.

We have lived with that awful knowledge for a number of years now but we are still feeling the effect of it. Catholics are still stunned that an institution of perceived holiness could hide such vile evilness within it's walls and the secondary damage, next to the damage done to the poor children, their families, teachers and communities, is the damage done to the larger community of believers; to our trust, to our faith and to our sense of security. The response to pedophilia within its ranks by the brotherhood of priests and bishops has shattered our faith in the institution of the church itself.

In the belief that child abuse was a sickness, offenders were given therapy and when they were considered 'healed' they were simply moved into other parishes with no concern for those who had been abused and no duty of care for children in the parishes and schools to which the abusers were moved.

Entire communities, especially small country communities have been decimated by child abuse. Parishes everywhere have been affected. The damage done to young children, their families, their communities and the institutions themselves has been incalculable.

But pedophiles not only infiltrated the Catholic Church. All denominations and Government institutions have had these monsters in their ranks and all of those organisations reacted in a similar way; in self-defense. They kept it under wraps and moved the abusers away. There was no duty of care for the victims or their families and absolutely none for the vulnerable children waiting elsewhere.

So what does all this say about our society and it's institutions? What does it say about our churches?

The church I grew up in had a very clearly defined hierarchy. The pope of course being at the top and laywomen and children being at the bottom. Though my father tells me that all laity were powerless in the church, the broader society of the time did not see women as equal to men and in Australia today, despite the fact that women are free to study and enter any profession, there is still an undercurrent of sexism and inequality toward them. The rigorous hammering of our first woman Prime Minister has demonstrated that.

It must have been hard work covering up such a deep and scandalous secret. It must have been a kind of hell on earth, living with the knowledge of it and waiting for the news to break. The stress must have been unbearable. It reminds me of an aristocratic family, trying to hide their dirty linen, only worse.

Strangely, these crimes were happening during a time of openness and broad mindedness within the church. No wonder Cardinal Pell knee jerked himself and the Church back into the dark ages. No wonder he was so fearful of the new open church. He was probably worried the secret would get out. He may have even blamed the new openness for the pedophile problem itself.

Now, he must be nearly dying of shame and if he isn't then why  isn't he? Perhaps they had all lived with the mess for such a long time it may have been a relief to have it out.

Cardinal Pell and his brotherhood of priests and bishops do not feel responsible for the abuses of children in their church. I suppose the priests who didn't know about it can claim innocence but what about the rest? They did not respond appropriately to the abuse. They did not look after the victims and protect the children in their care and now they are suffering the consequences, if not by public prosecution then through the damage done to the church itself. If the church never recovers from this scandal, it will not be the fault of those who have stopped going to Mass or believing in the church.

I believed in George Pell. As a young girl at teacher's college I admired him. Now it seems to me that he is imprisoned by the institution and grasping at the life boat of tradition for survival. It does sound a bit like the British aristocracy.

Our new Pope Francis is trying to let go of that life boat and learn how to swim. If our church is to survive, we must all learn how to swim. We must learn from the past and embrace a more open, inclusive and accountable church. Like Mother Teresa, we must have respect and compassion for the least of us but most importantly, we must LISTEN TO OUR CHILDREN and never let it happen again.
'So the last shall be first and the first shall be last..' Matthew 20:16