'Murdered woman loud and dominant'.

On May 30^th, ABC 1 reported that a man strangled his wife, Mandy Rahimzadegan, and buried her in his yard.  Then, on request his friends helped him to build a deck which was, unbeknownst to them, over her grave. 

It was followed by the comment that the woman’s neighbours said they had heard much loud fighting from Mandy's home and that they had thought she was the ‘dominant’ one. Since when has it been relevant to report on the personality or the loudness of the victim? And if it sounded so loud, why didn't Mandy's neighbours ring the police? Did they think the police would not be interested? Are the police disregarding victims of domestic violence?

Victim blaming is reflective of society’s insidious prejudice against women and it is often manipulated by men to justify violence against them. Who cares what the neighbours thought about her? How was this relevant to the story?

A domestic fight that gets out of control can often involve violence on both sides but the statistics show that violence is nearly always against women and children. Violence is a sickness within our communities and we create a reason for it when we blame the victim. Who cares if she was loud and dominant? Good for her I say.

There is never a reason for violence unless it is in self defence.
http://www.domesticviolence.com.au/pages/domestic-violence-statistics.php

'Each culture has its sayings and songs about the importance of home and the comfort and security to be found there. Yet for many women home is a place of pain and humiliation...violence against women by their male partners is common, wide-spread and far-reaching in its impact. For too long hidden behind closed doors and avoided in public discourse, such violence can no longer be denied as part of everyday life for millions of women. [1]'
http://www.aph.gov.au/About_Parliament/Parliamentary_Departments/Parliamentary_Library/pubs/BN/2011-2012/DVAustralia

Victims of abuse often suffer twice; at the hand of their abusers and at the collective hand of our community. Society, our larger community which is supposed to protect us, very often betrays the victim. Prejudicial language such as 'provocative', 'suggestive' or 'loud and abusive' is often used to describe those who've been hurt. Imagine the effect this language has on the listener, any listener and more importantly on the abused? Violence is never the answer.

It was this lack of empathy toward victims that made it possible for our churches and public institutions to disregard the sexual abuse of women and children in their midst. A fierce double damage was enacted on these people and as a consequence, all of them have lived lives of desperation with many committing suicide.

We, who have not experienced such pain, have been left reeling at the revelations of evil in our midst and the double damage caused by our churches and institutions and unknowingly by our own, ignorant, shame inducing silence.

I hope that the commission into child sex abuse will help raise awareness on this issue, address injustices and create a healthier more vigilant approach within our community.  http://www.childabuseroyalcommission.gov.au/Pages/default.aspx

But if the comments in the ABC 1 News report is anything to go by, we have a long way to go! The accusative language is an insult to Mandy's memory and to her grieving family and friends. Such disgraceful reporting would be wrong from any TV station but it is much worse from our public broadcaster, our publicly owned TV station. There it is again, the double damage being enacted by our public institutions.

Victim blaming and prejudice against women are flaws in our collective psyche which contribute to the  misery of domestic violence within our communities and also to the violence against women and children in our institutions. This pattern seems to have been repeated throughout the world. In which case, it makes sense that at every level, men themselves should be the ones leading the campaign to stop violence against women and children. Only when this culture of violence is addressed by men themselves will we see real change. In fact, I wish it had been a man who noticed and drawn attention to the bigotry in this news report.

Shame on you ABC! Please read the news article or watch on the ABC website and use the following complaint form to let the ABC know what you think of their reporting on the terrible murder of Mandy Rahimzadegan.

Vale Mandy Rahimzadegan and my love and sympathy to her family and friends.

I am so very sorry.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-05-30/husband-built-deck-to-conceal-wife27s-grave2c-court-told/4722896

http://www.abc.net.au/contact/complain.htm